1.BONEHEAD
Lord Bonehead of Mosborough.

2.BONIO
Dog related.

3.CLARKSON
A good one at the time of his long-ish hair & general attire.

4.KEITH (Flint)
At Lesley's barbeque he requested we
call him this.  

5.OUTDOOR BILLING
Self-explanatory. 
Picture taken at Billing Aquadrome, Northamptonshire

6.JIF
Household cleaner related. See 7.

7.VIM
A bastardisation of 8.

8.VIN
An old one this. 
Based on Mark's short "Vinny Jones"
style haircut.

9.JETHRO
Cornwall related.

10.PAUL STEWART
Similar hairstyle at one stage.
11.RUPERT
Even his mum's at it!
12.LABRADOR
More dog related fun!
13.MARK STOBART
Based on Mark's love of the Cumbrian haulier.
15.SOFTLAN
See 6 & 7.
16.GAYLORD
Warren called him this once...
we laughed.
17.MR ING
Poor I know but used nonetheless. Sort of Bill Ing.
Also see
http://www.nihonkiin.or.jp/kishihp/shigeno/200006-e.htm
for more Mr Ing related fun!
18.THE UNDERTAKER
Fuck knows!
19.HALE & PACE
20.GINSTERS
Pasty, Panda pops and badminton
related.
21.TARZAN
We really were taking the piss with this one.
22.UNGOWA
A variant on 21.  
23.MR DOGSHIT
Pat trying to scare Mark in a message.
We like it though, as it suits him!
24.LOVEABLE IDIOT
One of Derek's I'm afraid!
25.ERASMUS
Our personal favourite.
We'll 'endeavour' to think of others.  
26.JAR JAR
How we remember the big cardboard
cut outs in Pizza Hut!  
27.SPILLING BILLING
Bleauugh!!
28.MAN AT CCC
Camping related and play on
"man at C&A" slogan.  
29.MAN AT MILLETS
See 28.
30.CHRIS BONNINGTON
That bloody mountaineering
jacket!  
31.BILLONE
Del's Italian pronunciation of surname...
Throw in a Marco for extra value.
32.FRANK SINATRA
See 27. 
Smell of sick kept making 
comebacks weeks after the event.  
33.MOOSE HUNTER
Based on Mark's pursuit of rough looking women!
34.MOST DISTURBED PERSON
Not necessarily a nickname but
worth a mention.
35.PHIL MITCHELL
He played him at an OLS awayday.
36.GREETINGS & SALUTATIONS
Not so much a nickname as an
expression.  
37.SHEMP
Shemp Howard of The Three Stooges.
Comedy idiot.
38.INGOLDMELLS
No idea!
39.MARINE BOY
Mark will one day swim with his dolphin pals.
40.AQUAPARK
Errm...
See 39.
41.CIRCUS BOY
Dry land version of 39 & 40.
42.ZUT ALORS
Reference to Mark’s French lessons.

 

 

43.THE DECOY
As named by Bill McCartney at the bar in Wetherspoons.
44.CIF
Lever Brothers worldwide name 
for Jif.
See 6.  
45.JEFF LARDBURGER
Big Breakfast related Buster variant.
46.BUSTER
Buster Bloodvessel related fat insult. 
Also Buster Brown.
47.THE TRURO TIT
Ultra-childish type of thing we can get away with when we’re 350 miles away.
48.THE FALMOUTH FART
See 47.
49.MARANGONI
In honour of Claudio Marangoni, Sunderland’s 80’s Argentinean international with the lopsided head.
Pic will have to do until I can get hold of Pat's Pannini annual to scan it in.
50.SUPER WOMBLE
51.GOLD TOP
In honour of a near death experience with milk float near Sheffield Arms.
52.BIG CORNWALL
Mark’s Spy alter ego. 
Alternates as a pub quiz team name.

53.BALL BOY
When the football comes to rest in a rock pool,
he’s yer man!

 

54.FLIP FLOP
Patronising footwear related name.  
55.KING GONK
See 50.
56.HUMAN DOG WHISTLE
Tribute to the high-pitched squeals of excitement.  
57.GOODNIGHT MR TOM
A nickname to replace the late Inspector Morse. 
It never really caught on... perhaps it will now?
58.L’AGGRESSION
Mark’s year 2000 Mr Nasty phase. 
Seldom seen since.
59.EURO BILLING
60.GARCON
No reasonable explanation other 
than it was said it to him based on 
his need to learn French.  
61.COGNOSCENTI
Mark & his Dad – The Cuban Boys.
Dad taking role of Intelligentsia.
62.MARKUSS
What's better than a picture of another Markuss? This one's from Sweden...!
63.CITY CYRIL
A tribute to Sheffield's favourite 70s tramp.
64.SNACK STOP
Mark loves his junk food and plenty of it. 
65.CAPES
The great budgie fancier himself appeared in an advert for 64.
66.JEROME
67.AL JOLSON
68.BERT
Mary Poppins chimney sweep related.  
69.RAMSBOTTOM
Tenuous Sooty (Soot) link.
Might not be the original Ramsbottom (right), but the new one... he'll just have to do!
70.YARDIE B
More Fireplace blackface jibes.
71.PEE-WEE
72.DRUMMER
In honour of John Stalker’s dog... 
Come on Mark, you've made your 
point!
See the ad for yourself, click here.
73.MICHELLE
74.LIBS  
75.REGGIE

 

76.SCRUMPY JACK

 

 

77.BARGAIN BUCKET
Mark has single handedly kept the KFC at Gordano Services in business for the past five years.
Has recently made a comeback after Marks admission that he was tempted to buy three bargain buckets and put them in the freezer!

 

78.EARS
Stems from Duffett typo on Eras 
during e-mail conversation about 
Star Wars.  

 

79.MARK MOUSE

   

 

80.BUSHWACKER   

 

81.FUDGE PACKER
More Cornwall based tomfoolery.

 

82.POT NOODLE
See 64 & 65.  

 

83.POT BELLY
After the Paul Hogan character of the same name.
We couldn't get a good photo, so the pig will have to do!

 

84.VERANDA BOY
I bet Mark wishes he'd got this view 
from his veranda...!

 

 

85.ASHLEY

 

86.SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
Who live in a pineapple next to the sea? Spongebob Billing!  
 

87.MR SHITFACE

   

 

88.UNLEADED
Is Mark firing blanks?  

 

89.STERN BILLING
The nickname has nothing to do with Howard Stern (right)...

 

90.PRITCHETT
Based on Mark's story that Alan B 
had seen Tony Pritchett (Sheffield 
Star's SUFC reporter) on Fargate 
and that he looked like death... not surprising as he'd been dead for 
over six months!
Can't get hold of a pic of him though, 
so this one of the American rockers, 
"The Tony Pritchett Band" will have to 
do instead...

 

91.BELL END
Self explanatory...

 

92.EL HIJO
Alan Billing's Spanish greeting to
his son.

 

93.MR JUICY
A placebo member of the Cornish based funk outfit.

 

94.KERMIT
Based on the admission that The Muppets was one of his favourite shows.

 

 

95.GLENFIDDICH
Mark perhaps hiding in a bottle of whisky 
in "The Swan With Two Necks", Stockport.

 

96.KAISER
Kaiser Bill(ing).

 

97.THE KING
No idea regarding the name, but here's a nice pic of WWE's Jerry "The King" Lawler all the same.

 

98.TFM
Touchy Feel Mark.  

 

99.MR PECKHAM
Photo with Bill & Joan.

 

100.LOGAN   

 

101.CHEF
Linked to Mark’s recent damson jam making exploits.

 

102.SUPER JANNER
Taken from Jon Benns LP. 
Slang for a Cornish yokel.

 

 

103.HAMLET
After the Hamlet of Mark, Somerset.

 

104.JACKIE MASON
Jewish... Mark being tight, etc.

105.MAURICE

 

106.FUNKAPOLITAN
Named this by Pat & Dom during the quiz at Dave's house, New Year 2004.

 

107.LIONEL
AKA Lionel Ocean.

 

108.THE REVERAND  

 

109.SCAMP
Mark backed a horse of this name at Aintree in 2004 and it just seemed appropriate to add it to this list... How were we to know it was dog related?

 

110.BABES
Pat thought it most amusing that Mark said "Cheers babes" when Claire gave him a cup of tea... it was on the list in seconds!

 

 

111.BADLY OVERDRAWN BOY
Have you heard how much he paid for that chair???

 

 

111.KLAMMER
Mark is off snowboarding soon, apparently...

112.VITALITE
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

113.DUM DUM
A new one from Derek... Quote - 
"If Duff is gonna be Touche Turtle, you'll have to be the sidekick Vin; a loveable idiot type dog if I recall, called Dum Dum."

114.CORNISH KNOCKER
Self explanatory abuse

115.CAPTAIN BILLINGS
A character from 
"Greystoke - The Legend of Tarzan". played by Richard Griffiths.
115.THE MESSAGE
The new name for "Mr Juicy".
116.BOATSWAIN
"Shiver me timbers, me hearties!", said Boatswain Billing...
117.FATHER DOUGAL
How the hell did we ever miss this one off the list???
118.JOLLY RANCHER
Can't remember why, but it fits! Love the picture too, very "Mark" indeed.
119.LITTLE MARK
Purile nickname made up in a two minute conversation between Pat and Dom... the pic is of Aussie actor\comedian, Mark Little... well, it's near enough!

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